A quote from Susie Orbach (author of Fat is a Feminist Issue) and then some sad sad links:

“We transform the sense of being criticised by becoming the moving and enthusiastic actor in our own self-improvement programme. We will eagerly repair what is wrong … We see ourselves as agents, not victims. It is the individual woman who feels herself to be at fault for not matching up to the current imagery … She applies herself to the job of perfecting that image for herself and so makes it her own, not assaultive or alien.“

And now let’s play the Big Fat Headline Game!

A recent study found that 2/3 of women who participated identified their own body type (with ranges within the full spectrum from underweight to “over” weight) as their ideal body type. This is amazing and surprising, given the amount of self loathing in the world. Well, not to worry. The medical community is here to give you a perspective that will allow more hate by offering a way to view self acceptance as a poor health choice. (Can you diet self acceptance away?)

Their Headline: Good Body Image Can Take Health Toll
Big Fat Headline: Doctors So Shocked To Discover Some Women Like Themselves That a New Task Force is Immediately Deployed to “Treat” This Horrible Illness

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“Being overweight — or simply believing they are overweight — might predispose some U.S. teens to suicide attempts, according to a new study.” I’m not really sure what to say about this except that I am glad that someone is shedding some light on this very sad and very real issue.
Their Headline: Teens Who Think They’re Overweight More Likely To Try Suicide
Big Fat Headline: Stop Telling Kids To Diet Already!

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“In remarkable research, the sociologist Rebecca Warner and the economist Ebonya Washington have shown that the gender of a person’s children seems to influence the attitudes and actions of the parent.” Specifically that if you have a daughter you are more likely to be a feminist.

Their Headline: Having Daughters Rather Than Sons Makes You More Liberal
Big Fat Headline: Having Close Platonic Relationships with Women Make Men More Aware of Women’s Plight/Feelings/Status as a Human Being

I very clearly remember the first time I visited Lane Bryant‘s website in 1999. I remember this because at the behest of a boyfriend I had at the time, we had logged on together to see if they offered bikinis for the fat set. The answer was not only a resounding no, but the models on the website were so thin that neither of us were sure if we were at the right website at all. (Please note that they did not yet offer online ordering to check the sizes). Outraged, I sent them an email telling them to use fat models to eliminate future confusion and to show appreciation of the demographic of people who actually buy their clothes.

Read on for more information about this and about change happening in the fashion industry!

I’m sure it wasn’t my letter that changed that policy, but now at least they feature “plus sized” models. Check out the new spring collection here. I can’t seem to figure out exactly what size range makes one a “plus size” model, but based strictly on the appearance of the Lane Bryant set I’m going to say 6-12. I would be shocked if any of their models even to this day are large enough to buy the clothes sold in their stores.

One of my favorite websites, Jezebel, regularly reads, analyzes, and dissects fashion magazines. I’m a lover of fashion and clothes. I like looking good, love trying new styles and think that the fashion industry itself is a fascinating thing. It is a microcosm that could not exist without itself. But anyway.

Plus size models are being featured in a lot of fashion magazines lately. For every giant leap forward, like this article in Glamour showcasing real swimsuits for real women with real women models, there are also giant steps back. Thanks for putting someone fat in your pages, Vogue, even if she has to be dramatically slimmed down through optical illusion and photoshop while still talking about cheeseburgers and milk shakes in order to get there! I’m going to eat you for lunch, Anna Wintour. Skinny legs and all.

One of the interesting things about all these articles I’m linking to is that while all of them recognize this current mini trend in fashion, they are very cautious, warning readers that this trend is not likely to take off, last long, or be very serious in any kind of way. In fact, as Jezebel notes repeatedly in the Glamour article the next page is advertising a diet program, and on top of that at no point do they specifically call their model plus sized.

I’ve read speculation recently that this started with Gaultier walking a plus size model (check out the giant leap forward above) and also is stemming from fashion’s current love affair with Beth Ditto. The Gossip perfromed at Karl Lagerfeld’s private Fendi after party at Paris Fashion Week. With Lagerfeld as a known fattie hater, this was a very interesting choice of performer. He even designed an outfit, created for stripping, for Ms. Ditto herself. But the consensus seems to be that this is just a fad.

So what’s all this about? Is real change coming? Do I have a future as a fashion model after all? Well, to join my peers I will also caution you to not get too excited – yet. While it’s great that they’re using “plus size” models in magazines, those “plus sizes” wouldn’t fit me. Even most of the Glamour plus sized bathing suits won’t fit. I appreciate the effort and hope that with enough continued griping from the real fat audience, eventually they’ll invite all of us to fashion week and not just Beth Ditto.

2. This is today. No matter how much you wish it were 3 diets and 4 exercise programs later, today is still going to be the day that you are living. You might as well embrace it!

3. If your friend were hating themselves, you would show them love and compassion. You’re friends with yourself, aren’t you?

4. Not loving yourself will not give you the energy, strength and positivity that you need to make changes in your life.

5. It feels good.

6. Are you worried about how you look? Confidence is more flattering than any girdle or shapewear could ever be!

7. Do you feel that you are not getting enough love from other people? Lead by example and set the standards that you expect through your own actions.

8. If you treat yourself kindly you’ll have more energy available to spread that kindness around.

9. In atonement for every compliment you’ve ever rejected spend one day liking everything about you.

10. What would your grandmother say if she heard the way you think about yourself?

I know BMI charts are a crock, but among doctors, there is occasionally some kerfuffle over the fact that I am well into the “morbidly obese” category. Dr. Pearce’s office has never weighed me, and she has never remarked on my size in any way. Over the four visits I have made, she has examined pretty much every bit of my skin. She always exclaims happily over different parts of me being “lovely,” and manages to make me feel at ease even when everything I am wearing is made of paper.

What’s crazy is that Albemarle Dermatology Associates offers all kinds of cosmetic things for skin. But never once has Dr. Pearce ever hinted that I might want or need any of that. I come in with medical symptoms, and she treats ‘em. She was, however, totally helpful when I finally asked her to remove some benign skin things I had going on but didn’t want to display in my new, low-cut dresses. Bottom line, she has never judged anything about me or made me feel less than beautiful exactly as I am.

Check it out, I love their waiting room too—funky colors and seating for many sizes.

I’m not an admirer of a pack of abs (I like my own round belly and prefer them in others, too) but I will admit to being impressed at her commitment to infinity stomach crunches upon seeing the (likely very airbrushed) magazine in the store. Anyway, she begins the interview by kind of nervously discussing her eating habits and the type of holiday deprivation that had to occur in order for her to look like she did on the cover. At one point Jay asks her what she most wishes she could have eaten and she yells, “ANYTHING!”

Their exchange is very interesting to me not only because of her obvious food neurosis and reaction to Jay’s loving embrace of bacon, but also because she immediately follows this up with an “anecodote” about humiliating a fat man “with a great big belly” at a nudist beach. She even acknowledges his humiliation when she and her friends laughed openly at the man as the punchline of her joke. Watch the interview here and fast forward to 21:10.

Why is this ok, funny, and even applauded? One reason why it is so important to build this community is because we must, as a group, hold people accountable for the things that they say. The next time someone makes a fat joke in front of you tell them that you find it offensive. Pay attention to all the media you consume this week, paying particular attention to any references to weight or fat people. While I don’t have the answer for appropriately addressing Ms. Louis-Dreyfes’s misstep (and almost feel badly for her as it appears she’s suffering from food/weight hell all on her skinny own) I do urge you to begin addressing these comments when you see and hear them in your own life. Maybe the person making the joke has just never realized that it’s hurtful to make fun of fat people or maybe they don’t care.

Have you seen the bumper sticker that says, “If you’re not outraged you’re not paying attention”? Well, it’s like that.

Look at her, smacking down asshats and being fabulous! Joy says we deserve to be happy. And we do! So let’s listen to her, and give up torturing ourselves. It’s been a fun hobby that kept us busy in the evenings, but really, self-torture is so 90’s. We need to let it go and find something new.   

Fat Positive Charlottesville, I am just going to say it now. You all are super cute.